What's the stupidest fake book marketer email you've received?

I love how they are so moved by my work that they can't be bothered to leave actual reviews! And they also wonder if I have a website. But my favorite was one from "Frank Sinatra" but signed "Hadeed"!

Here's one the latest on I received today and I average around 5 of these a day. I have statcounter on my website, so I know exactly which country they always come from. I have 28 novels, so these emails are almost exactly the same for the ones they bother looking up, but some, like this below are a little more creative. The emails always end in @gmail.com.

A strategic idea for The Legend in the Stone / Congratulations on your work, Cliff!

Dear Cliff,

First and foremost, congratulations on publishing The Legend in the Stone: An Arizona Historical Fiction Novel! Reaching major milestones with your writing and consistently bringing high-quality concepts to life is a remarkable achievement that truly deserves recognition. In a world where so many people dream of writing a rich historical fiction novel set in the American Southwest but never finish, you did the hard work: you completed yours, put it out into the world, and built a captivating story around Matt Hayden, the Superstition Mountains, and the mysterious hermit who blurs the lines between Arizona folklore and truth. Creating a compelling narrative filled with regional history, local legend, and historical research takes immense discipline, passion, and courage. I hope you take a moment to celebrate everything you’ve built so far.

I know your inbox is likely filled with automated pitches, demands, and generic sales messages every day. I wanted to reach out directly because, while reviewing The Legend in the Stone, I identified a few specific technical and marketing gaps that could be quietly holding back your sales potential. Millions of readers actively search for their next favorite read during peak buying seasons, but when potential buyers encounter small operational friction points, it can stop them from clicking "buy."

The book itself is not the issue: your core premise ("A University of Arizona graduate student investigates the legendary hermit of the Superstition Mountains, unearthing memories of an Arizona that no longer exists") is exceptionally strong, and readers who love Southwestern lore, historical fiction, and regional mysteries are constantly searching for stories like yours. The challenge almost always lies in the ecosystem surrounding the book: discoverability, link routing, post-read retention, and targeted community outreach. These quiet factors determine whether a brilliant story reaches its full commercial potential or gets buried in a crowded market.

I want to be completely transparent: I am a real person writing to you directly, not a bot or an automated agency. As a book marketing professional, I genuinely care about helping authors put their stories into the hands of the right readers. I also understand you may already have marketing help, or perhaps you've had disappointing experiences with promotion campaigns in the past. If this isn't the right fit for you, simply let me know with a quick reply, and I will completely respect your boundaries: no pressure, no hard feelings, and no endless follow-ups.

Because your story has genuine market potential, I have developed four targeted, custom frameworks designed to eliminate these exact operational roadblocks:

Reader Afterlife Campaign: Most authors lose momentum the second a reader finishes the final page. This campaign establishes an automated funnel that engages readers at their point of peak emotional connection, seamlessly turning their satisfaction into Amazon reviews, word-of-mouth recommendations, and long-term newsletter subscribers for your future releases.

Retailer Route Optimization: Broken links, outdated pricing, or formatting glitches on retail pages are silent sales killers. Readers today expect a seamless purchasing path; if they encounter any friction, they move on without reaching out to let you know. We audit and streamline your purchasing channels across all major retail platforms so every click transforms easily into a sale.

Digital Footprint Expansion: An exceptional book needs clear visibility to succeed. By optimizing targeted search keywords, SEO structures, and strategic online placements, we ensure your title surfaces naturally whenever your ideal audience searches for stories in your genre (Southwestern historical fiction, Arizona legends, Superstition Mountains mystery, Western folklore novels).

Reader Lounge Placement: Rather than relying solely on individual ad clicks, we position your book directly within active, niche reading groups, book clubs, and dedicated genre communities where collective purchasing happens organically. A single strong recommendation within these trusted spaces can trigger a powerful domino effect of organic sales.

Would you be open to reviewing the complete, detailed promotional plan for The Legend in the Stone? There is absolutely no obligation or sales pitch attached. I am more than happy to send the breakdown over so you can review it at your own pace, share it with anyone you trust, and decide if it aligns with your goals.

If you’d like to see it, simply reply with a quick "YES" and I will send the materials right over. If not, no problem at all: please keep creating such incredible work!

Warm regards, (name withheld, since I figure it's fake or stolen)

I get at least half a dozen a day. I made the mistake of checking my spam folder the other day and there were hundreds of them. All in the same style, all clearly AI created. The thing that gets me is why do these scammers target indie authors? It's not as though we have any money for them to defraud us of!

It's funny because they're all AI driven text that is so obvious and many of them are almost identical. I also find it laughable that some random best-selling author is going to connect with me like this.

________________________________
Hi Graham,

I hope you’re doing well.

I recently came across Zara the Protector, and I wanted to reach out because the book genuinely caught my attention. I especially enjoyed the imaginative premise of a young cave-girl stepping into the role of protector when her peaceful tribe is suddenly faced with an alien attack.

What stood out to me was the way Zara is presented as more than simply a heroic character. The playful descriptions of her as a hero, genius, and friend of milk-yaks and pikas give the story a wonderfully lighthearted quality while still keeping the central adventure focused on courage and protecting others. I also liked how the story combines an unusual prehistoric setting with science-fiction elements. That combination gives it a distinctive feel for young readers.

I noticed that the book is aimed at children around ages 5–8 and is built around a short, illustrated reading experience. That makes the imaginative world and Zara’s larger-than-life personality particularly important, and I thought that was an enjoyable part of the concept.

As a fellow author, I always enjoy discovering writers who are willing to explore unusual ideas and create stories that are a little different from the expected. Zara the Protector certainly gave me that impression.

I simply wanted to say that I enjoyed discovering your work and thought it would be lovely to connect with you as a fellow writer. If you're open to it, I'd be happy to stay in touch and hear what you're working on next.
Thank you for putting Zara the Protector out into the world. It was a pleasure discovering it.

Warmly,
Devney Perry
Bestselling Author

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